Dear Diary, My Journaling memoirs

5/9/2012

The pain, I am all too familiar with, as I am sure most people are. Finding your way in this world can be complicated with what seems too many obstacles along the way. Although we continue on dreaming of the day that we will find something better, when suddenly we realize that our lives have passed us by. I stopped to quietly reflect and contemplate on my life when it suddenly hit me like a wave of cold Lake Michigan water as it slaps you in the face. Taking a gulp of cold Northern air I thought what? Where did my life go? I’ve lived, I’ve worked, and I’ve raised a family, and then suddenly I am forty something. The promises that I had made myself many years ago and my voice which I had set aside is still sitting there on the back burner just waiting.

Paradigms can be very beneficial when they bring about good changes in our lives whether at work or within our home-life. When we take the steps to make changes within ourselves and ours lives we are changing our course, our direction in some way. Sometimes paradigms come about in a way that were not initiated by us, but we get caught up in the whirlwind and our lives change also as a result. This can come in many different ways and brought about by some catalyst in which can be good or bad, but never the less brings about change. How we handle this results in life lessons what we learn from the experience. How we choose to react makes all the difference.

Finding meaning and purpose to our lives is a constant challenge we are faced with. I feel that we would all like to find meaningful employment, purpose in life and of course be prosperous in all that we do. The problem for most though is going about finding this, or actually recognizing it when it is in front of us. As I read through the last chapter of this reading assignment I came to the realization that I haven't truly found my voice yet. I have always wanted to write a magnificent story or a novel yet I never took the steps forward with this dream. Upon thinking about this it is fear I believe that holds me back, a fear of failure, which is something that I need to overcome. I have throughout my lifetime took the challenge and conquered many fears, from being too shy and afraid of speaking to people to anxiety over changes or new things coming into my life. Why not conquer the fear of failure I ask myself, it is something at least to give some thought to.

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