What If?

  

What exactly is beauty? What is it to be beautiful? What is it to age beautifully, to grow old gracefully? Is there really any truth behind those words? Society, societal standards deem our beauty be judged by our physical attributes, sensuality and sexuality. Physical attractiveness, the perfect supermodel or Victoria Secret angel body. A world ruled by a superficial perfectness. Shallowness pervades as women are the most susceptible to this stigma branded into their minds from early on. We must always work at being attractive, thin and keep our youthful look as we age. Fears ingrained that gray hair, crows feet, and sagging skin are not desirable reinforcing fears that as we age we will become less and less desirable. These deep down fears conditioned into women and supported  by a society full of money and sex appeal chasers. The sadness in this is that we ignore and eventually forget about the true beauty carried deep inside. This forgotten beauty lies just under the surface of our soul casing, shining brilliantly waiting to be touched gently, held softly, and caressed sweetly. So many judge by outward appearances, I’m guilty of this myself. 

Whatever happened to being faithful and honest to your commitments? How do people inexplicably fall out of love? What is seen in the other person that your partner lacks? Is it all just the allure of the superficial? Will a relationship based on money or lust really bring you happiness? Is the grass truly greener in yonder pasture?

I see the chaos in people, in relationships and in love so I have this to say:

What if my skin was as soft, smooth and perfect as the charismatic love in my heart and soul, would you love me the same as when I was in my twenties?

What if my soul casing remained as perfect and alluring as the love in my heart and soul, would you be attracted to me then?

What if my smile, my hair and my eyes were as tantalizing as the love in my heart and soul, would you still care about me then?

What if my physical appearance was as voluptuous as the love in my heart and soul, would you truly love me then?

What if my thighs were as lush as the sultry love in my heart and soul, would you hold me in your eyes then?

What if the time lines etched on my face were as hypnotic as the mesmerizing love in my heart and soul, would you still tenderly caress my cheek?

What if my bank accounts overflowed with as much love as is in my heart and soul, would you find it easier to love me then?

What if my worth were measured by the extent of the abundant love in my heart and soul, would there be a place for me by your side then?

What if my messiness, my ugliness and all that in between were as captivating as the beautiful love within my heart and soul, would you hear my heart song then?  

What if the fresh glow of soft supple temptation, naive and inexperienced hadn’t arrived, would you still be in love with me then?

What if, what if, what if my imperfections were as graceful as the love in my heart and soul?

What if….

©2015 DLHouseholder

The Warrior Heart 

  

She caught her heart sneaking around with his not that long ago. I asked her what she thought she was doing and she replied hesitantly that she needed nourishment to survive in a world that is all take,take, take. She said that she had been rummaging around in the heart cupboards of those who crossed her path only to find emptiness,desolation and dark bare caverns not enough for her to survive, so she returned to a heart so full. I smiled for her as I saw the perfect storm lie just behind those liquid eyes, brimming with the salty seas waiting for release.

Since she was painfully empty and only seeking enrichment and nourishing food for the soul I chose not to punish her with restrictions, instead I let her feel. I knew that in this lesson of love she had been remembering the taste of hurt as she suckled the pain which in turn helped her to savor the flavor of love. Remembering why she had closed off to begin with, this being to know love is to feel the discomfort of pain. An uncomfortable combination yet this was all she had known of love. A realization had arrived, the balance of both forces at hand. For so long she was afraid of welcoming love because in doing so she would be susceptible to the discomfort, the uncomfortable feeling and the horrid taste as she released the pain.

She knew that this was the moment, the time had come to dive deep into herself, deeper into her heart and soul than she’d gone before, to expose all that is not and all that is. Releasing the past stepping into the present to unleash the freedom which she is and the truth that she knows. The rebel in her made a strong decision to cure this warrior heart of its ailments, once and for all. The rebel realized that the warrior heart must face the pain which she had been ignoring. Knowing that in taking this path she would learn to find that balance within her. The Rebel stepped forth to call out the warrior heart front and center this time. The warrior hearts sword was being taken inward to unleash a force of love to be reckoned with. A force no pain could withstand as the passion and love kept prisoner within would blind the darkness with it’s light was unleashed.

This sword of the warrior heart was forged in love and sheathed in transmuting light, but had been  left behind decades ago, having been thrust into the stone of the mountain of hurtful experiences, pain and sorrow. The warrior heart went back to the place where her heart had been broken, crushed yet not destroyed. She went to that place, that place of abandonment, rejection and destruction, even though she was lonely, scared and afraid. The very same place where she had cried and no one came, the same place where she she hadn’t felt loved, the same place where she’d felt hopeless and confused. Knowing she faced a near impossible task and that she might fail again and again, she went on ahead courageously with the knowledge that she might very well get smacked down as she faced her fears. She didn’t know how this would turn out when life seemed like it was not on her side. Forward she forged like the warrior of love that she knew she was. She climbed the mountain to retrieve her sword along with the remainder of her heart. The warrior heart lay which she’d encased in barbed wire for protection so long ago, lay just inches from the sword and as she approached the heart began to live and breathe again  as its dimmed light slowly began to shine. The Warrior heart may be strong and may able to take a beating like no other but truth be known that a warriors heart desires nourishing love and fulfillment too.

The Bear

  

For years the bear lay sleeping inside her. 

She was fire she was ice.

Living on the border between this world 

and the next. 

She was love when love seemed lost, she 

was freedom. 

Her fierceness lay subdued.

Then she met a man who broke her heart 

wide open. Words so sweet he could turn 

black into white. 

He was smooth he was liquid, he was 

Mercury. 

He sang songs only her heart could hear.

This man was intoxicating, he was magic, 

he was the magician of hearts. 

A man who disappeared as magically  as 

he’d arrived. 

That was the year the bear inside her 

awakened. 

Her ferociousness became strong and 

slowly leaked out as she protected her 

heart.

She became a myth, a legend and a 

fairytale all wrapped in one.

 Her heart was her guide but she kept it 

wrapped in the hide of the bear with no 

cares.

Until the day another arrived to shatter 

the walls she’d built protecting her heart. 

The bear retreated as he was defeated 

when she let this man Break her heart 

wide open. 

©2015 DLHouseholder